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Comedy/Romance/, 2014, 21 min.

Synopsis Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) was excited to be starting at the Center for Justice, which Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) was disappointed about being only a law firm instead of a den for superheroes, but that's how life works. Mitchell's old law school friend convinced him to work there. But Cameron had an important night ahead, since the school's Spring-A-Ding Fling (he added the Ding) was going on and was a big fundraiser thanks to his efforts. Phil (Ty Burrell) had a big night as well, being the host of the SCARB (Southern California Annual Realtors Banquet), which Claire (Julie Bowen) couldn't attend. But Haley (Sarah Hyland) would, but only because Phil almost caught her sneaking her friends and some beer into the house one late night and she had to cover herself quickly. Of course, Phil thought Haley was a real estate star in the making herself, given he used to take her to open houses when she was younger. Claire was actually headed to the dance Cameron organized, as were both Luke (Nolan Gould) and Alex (Ariel Winter), both of whom had dates for the dance. Claire wasn't happy Luke's date, Rhonda, was playing in the mud with Luke beforehand. She sent Rhonda upstairs to get the dirt off of her face (CLAIRE: Just give me a good shake like a dog before you go inside.) and get cleaned up while she pretended she was OK with Alex and Drew going to the dance ironically and making fun of the kids who took it seriously. Mainly because she thought Alex really liked Drew and didn't want anybody to know that.CLAIRE: Now there ARE the pushy, obnoxious moms who try to get involved, nudge them towards one another and...we mean well.Jay (Ed O'Neill) and Gloria (Sofía Vergara) had babysitting duties for Joseph and Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons). Unfortunately, Gloria's purse somehow ended up on the floor and her smartphone broke as a result. Since Joseph couldn't walk yet, the blame went towards Lily. Lily blamed Joseph, claiming he walked to the table and pulled the purse down. Jay tried the "good cop" approach with Lily, saying he once took the heat for his little brother when they accidentally threw rocks through their dad's car. Gloria went with "bad cop," taking away the stuffed animals Lily liked and keeping her in her bedroom until she confessed. But she didn't crack. She kept claiming Joseph walked over to the purse, even showing some baby powder on the floor where Joseph had walked and broken something of hers. Jay and Gloria finally called her out on it, but Lily didn't cave, even trying to call Joseph to walk over to her. Which he did. Suddenly Jay and Gloria felt like complete dummies. Which they should have, because it really was Lily who broke the phone. She took Joseph's shoes and made imprints in the baby powder and was just lucky Joseph picked that moment to walk.Mitchell's first day at the new law firm was off to a weird start. His law school friend, Wendy (Aisha Tyler), showed him around, even introducing him to the dog who just threw up recently. However, there were bad signs all around, such as when Wendy yelled at an intern for an outfit worn at a business dinner the prior night, the notes inside of his new desk that said "run" and "get out or you will die", and a co-worker telling him not to make plans for Sunday night followed by Wendy shoving him down the hallway. Two other people complained about how conditions were deplorable, and finally Wendy ordering Mitchell to groom Rex. So, Mitchell went to get the stinky dog washed, but he decided he would stand up to Wendy for what everybody else couldn't. Or didn't need to. You see where this is going, right? Mitchell misinterpreted everything as Wendy being the boss from hell. However, Wendy was talking about the business outfit her gay intern had gotten for her, lamenting she found the only gay guy with no sense of style. Sunday night was for the barbeque party they were having, Wendy was shoving a person out the door so they would stop working and go enjoy their anniversary. The notes were reminders of a former co-worker to run and get into shape. The conditions that were deplorable were the cause of a slumlord, and Rex was the intern Mitchell was supposed to groom, not the dog.At the dance, both Cameron and Claire were having problems. Cameron's problem was the returning Spanish teacher (Will Sasso) whom Cameron replaced as most popular among the faculty. Claire's problem was meddling too much with her kids' social life. Luke didn't like the fact that Rhonda was cleaned up and wearing a nice dress, and Claire very much overdid the hints when she told Drew she wouldn't be home when he dropped Alex off after the dance. Naturally, Alex wanted Claire to disappear, but that wasn't going to happen when they had the "faculty dance" portion of the evening. Determined to out-duel his rival, Cameron pulls Claire onto the dance floor to make his mark on the dance. (CAMERON: It's CammerTime.) Of course, Claire really wanted to disappear.Phil was the hostest with the mostest at the banquet, even doing his own intro. Instead of a speech, he had a whole song-and-dance routine for the evening...and this show should be shot for ruining Styx's Come Sail Away for me FOREVER. Unfortunately, Phil fell off the stage during the show when he noticed Haley texting rather than watching his performance. Phil was both mad at Haley and depressed she wasn't into real estate as much as he was. But then Phil won the Realtor of the Year award, only he had sprained his ankle when he fell off the stage. Haley went up on stage and accepted the award for him, saying he was an awesome father. And since Phil didn't get a chance to finish his speech, she finished it for him, having heard him practice it enough times. (HALEY: Margaret Furman is here. Heads up to her date: she's been upside-down in more houses than Fannie Mae. Or in her case, Fannie Definitely-Will.)Voiceovers:MITCHELL: We all want people to think the best of us. CAMERON: So, we sometimes cover things up to protect ourselves. JAY: But, we don't have to be afraid. GLORIA: Because the truth is always a good thing. MITCHELL: Truth sets us free. CAMERON: Brings us closer.CAMERON (to Lily): So, do you want to tell us how Joe's shoes ended up on the wrong feet?LILY (still not admitting it): I guess the little guy knows how to put on his own shoes.

Directed by Gail Mancuso  

Starring Ed O'Neill, Sofía Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, more...

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