The Big Guns

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Comedy/Romance/, 2015

Synopsis Jay (Ed O'Neill) thought it was time for Joseph to learn how to potty train, but Gloria (Sofía Vergara) wasn't having it. Jay was tired of buying diapers, mainly because store clerks would point out where the adult diapers were. Gloria thought it was too much pressure to put on him. Manny (Rico Rodriguez) sided with Jay, given Jay had actually raised two children before, which Gloria seems to have forgotten. Manny learned things at a young least that's what Gloria led him to believe. In truth, he didn't learn to tie his shoes until he was 7, his first word was Jell-O and not latte, and he was almost 3 by the time he was fully potty trained. Manny wasn't thrilled about all of this sudden truth, but he did realize one thing. Jay was being insistent on training Joseph because when Mitchell and Claire were going through potty training, he had to leave it to DeDe because he was working long hours building his company and he didn't want to make the same mistake twice. Gloria sympathized with him, telling him he'd be around to help Joseph with all of his first moments. Like going potty, which Joseph was actually doing into the potty training seat. Although Jay should probably have learned not to pick someone up from a potty training seat until you were absolutely certain they were done.Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) and Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) enjoyed a great day at the library. At least, that's what they wanted Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) to think. As it turned out, Cam took Lily to Clown Junior College for a class. Mitchell wasn't happy Cam went behind his back, but Cam argued Mitch took Lily to the doctor without telling him.MITCHELL: She had an ear infection!CAMERON: So we're even!Cam and Lily decided to try their routine: Fizbo and Lizbo!MITCHELL: Are you not hearing that?CAMERON: We're working on the name.They do their routine, which Mitchell wasn't really enjoying. Lily noticed and took the broom she had, nailing Cam in the gut. She then took the bucket off his head he was pretending was his hat and nailed him with it. That got Mitchell laughing. Encouraged, Lily kept it up, tripping Cameron while he was carrying papers and nailing him with a boxing glove while he was brushing his teeth. Needless to say, Cam was getting paranoid walking around the house and blamed Mitchell for encouraging this behavior from Lily. Mitchell thought it was Cam's fault for pushing Lily into this but he did talk to Lily separately. It turned out there was a method to Lily's madness. She didn't like being a clown and thought doing mean things would convince Cam to not let her be a clown. She didn't want to hurt Cam's feelings by telling the truth, but Mitchell thought she should. And she talked to Cam. Cameron tried to convince her she would make a good clown, but Lily thought she'd never be as good as Fizbo and thought she should wait until she was older. Mitchell was so proud of the lie she made up on the spot; she had a future as a lawyer.Phil (Ty Burrell) and Claire (Julie Bowen) were having problems with their new neighbors: Ronnie and Amber (Steve Zahn and Andrea Anders). They had a large and tacky boat in their driveway which prevented Claire from getting out of the passenger door of their van. Claire wanted to confront them but Phil figured it would be better to be neighborly and ask nicely, over some banana bread. Not laced with pot, though. Ronnie and Amber tried to play nice, Amber even saying she liked Claire's wig, but Claire gave up and played it honest. Which offended the hell out of Ronnie and Amber, who told them to get off the boat. Which was bad for Luke (Nolan Gould), because he liked watching their daughter sunbathe. Of course, his small talk left much to be desired, and she even bullied him by making him admit he had never been with a woman before.Because Ronnie and Amber insulted Claire, Phil decided to break out the big guns. He called his father, who was RVing with some of his senior friends, and the entire caravan came to the Dunphys and parked themselves right out in front of Ronnie and Amber's house.PHIL: I see your boat and raise you a caravan of RVs full of retirees.CLAIRE: (turned on) I want to have three more of your babies.Sure enough, Frank Dunphy (Fred Willard) and his cohorts were exactly the kind of boring Phil and Claire thought would drive Ronnie and Amber nuts. Only all of them bonded later that night on the boat over some beers and a couple of people who were smoking weed (one of whom was in cancer remission and one because he liked it). Oh, and let's not start on Haley (Sarah Hyland) trying to join the party with a bag of Doritos.Phil and Claire had no choice now but to call the cops and have Ronnie and Amber cited for their boat being in the driveway. But Ronnie had a change of heart. He was ex-Army like a lot of Frank's buddies were, and he got that he had to do the right thing. He offered to keep the boat at his brother's house (as his brother had a neighbor he wanted to tick off). Phil and Ronnie shook on it...just as the police pulled up to cite them for the boat. Claire happily took the blame until she realized Phil and Ronnie had buried the hatchet. But if it was any consolation, Frank and his buddies were cited for their RVs being in the road as well.Oh, Alex (Ariel Winter) gave Luke an idea for some revenge against his sunbathing neighbor. He walked out to get the newspaper, and she tried to make snide comments to him again, only Luke completely ignored her. That ticked her off. It was the hardest think Luke had ever done, but a couple more like that and Tammy would be making out with him.

Directed by Jeffrey Walker  

Starring Ed O'Neill, Sofía Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, more...

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